Although it has been a long time since I've spoken to mum about anything more personal than the state of the weather, we've always shared a respectably vocal relationship.  We talk about aches and pains and careers and aspirations, but boys has always been a taboo topic. I remember the very first time she ever mentioned the possibility of me being with someone. Try as she might, she couldn't get herself to use the word 'boyfriend'. What ensued was a rather convoluted bit of conversation where neither of us was quite sure what the other was getting at.

To think that I must now talk not just about a boy but about a man-ling I want to spend my life with makes me shudder to the balls of my toes. Those being the only balls I can make any claim to possessing at said time.